Okay I know some of you may have tried to help me in the past and I didnt take it but this time I may really need to drop my ego and ask for your help.
I've been hurting a lot and left the site thinking it would be for good but im really at a semi low point where I could either explode with momentum or completely wipe out and ruin everything I have ever worked for.
I dont like to ask for help but this time I really do. I still remember when u made this thread and my whole thing was.to help people lift each other up. At the time I was uplifted myself and I was coming up in life but a few things came back to me. Past goals.
A little after I made this, my mentor actually gave me a call and checked how I was doing. I stopped going to meetings and he wanted to check up on me. We talked for a bit and I told him hiw good u was doing. Then he told me to come back for.one day just to say hi.
I came not knowing what to expect.....my old team grew. As a matter of fact,they were bigger than everyone elses. I said hi to the new.people embarrassed to show my fave but at the end of the night, my mentors mentor brought me.up in the middle of everyone to talk about my growing team.
I mean I was like wtf I wasnt around when thus happened. But I did talk. And after that, I kind of had a reason to come back yo the team.
I did. But I had to let go of a few goals. Now it wasnt for the money but now I had to fight for everyones respect again.
Iys been a few months and I havent gotten shit done. And on top of that...I started developing feeling for one of the girls for my team. This is where it gets difficult.
At first,she bugged the shit out of me. Imagine
KatherineLuvsMJ on ten shots of espresso. Hyoer as hell and never shuts the fuck up. Not saying ur like that kat but she was hyper.
But after a while I started getting to know her better and she was bothing like she was seen to be.
I kept encouraging her wheb everyone treated her as a kid. I instantly got friend zoned after that in front of the whole fucking team.
And I told myself fuck this im getting un friend zoned. And I did...but she stipped talking to me for a while because I got too blunt.
Now shes stepped up so much in all aspects of life. She went as far as passing people up on yhe team and being a part of our leadership group...which is weird now cuz the leadership used to joke around about how shes the one thats keeping me in.
Well today a situation happened where I didnt like how it ended. We burnt a bridge with a company we were supposed to work with and I decided.I didnt want to burn it.
My mentor got mad amd said we should have left it the way it was and let them get intimidated.
I rarely get him mad but he was heated. So what I did was I went directly to his mentor and told him what happened. He said that I did the right thing fixing a bridge we might cross again and ended at that.
After that,it was weird and the keaders that were a part of making the deal with the other company (including my mentor) didnt talk to me.
I felt alone.....but of all people the girl came up and checked up on me. She wanted to see if I was ok and gave me a hug. She even said she was having her closest business partners come over and wanted me to come. I said no because half the people were mad at me.
We talked before that there.could potentially be an us but we.would have to grow ourselves frst. Weve both grown ourselved tremendoulsy but we have both been going thru our share of struggles.
We would have gone thru it better together.but its.an ego thing atm. Almost like were in competition with each other now which is pushing me.
And tonight I had a talk with a guy on my team. He let me know that ny mentors mentor told him he knows I have it in me.
He really thinks the reason I stayed was because of her but he also said that he knows im going to make a big comeback and he cant wait to see it happen.
It really motivated me but I still cant help but feel like shit thatthe people in between me.and him feel like im not goi g anywhere.
Sure I like the girl but I wanna fucking succeed too.
Im just fucking ready to do whatever. Im soo pissed. I have so many fuckibg people to prove wrong and show I.can do.waht I did in the oast and further.
I actually feel a bit better sharing it with everyone now.
I dropped my currebt goals for this fucking business so I have no choice but to make.it work.
And it feels good sort of to share it with soneone besides
Aquadrop whos a great friend.
But if im dumping too much on u guys im.sorry but Ive been so depressed returning to a place I used to be a big part of.
Which is funny because its hard for me to return to the advancers also but im glad
Sebastian and a few others have taken it easy on me
